Below are some thoughts and suggestions from previous clients about how to get through the investigation process.

In the first weeks just take one day at a time.

Don't underestimate distraction. Do anything you can to focus on something else, even for a short time.

It is vital that you are able to talk to someone about how you are feeling.

Make use of the professional support available. Having someone to answer your questions makes it less uncertain.

As soon as you can, speak to your wife or partner

See your GP. If you are not comfortable talking to them about what's happened, you can always describe your stress and say you would rather not discuss the ‘cause’.

Don’t think that you are the only one in this situation. The professionals you see will not be shocked by what you've done.

Get a solicitor. A good Solicitor should make you feel calmer, listened to and more re-assured after your initial free consultation. If not, consider engaging another.

Continue with holiday plans that you have. In the worst case, you may have to cancel. If you can afford that, it is well worth taking the risk.

Get a new phone - pay as you go. Give your number to friends that you trust.

Add important phone numbers like Solicitors, Safer Lives, Police to your favourites on your phone, it gives a sense of ease and control.

Any concerns over retaliation or vigilantes - remember the police have your back. They are not broadcasting it (your offence) to anyone.


It feels like a bleak tunnel but life continues. Differences to your future aren't always bad.

It will probably be a lengthy amount of time before things progress so use that time to access support and any courses , books etc to educate yourself so you can start to make life changes. Don't wait until the end of the legal process as it will have been time wasted to rebuild your life and relationships with loved ones.